


Falling Apart In The Same Direction

by orphan_account



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Cheating, Coming at Peace With Unhappiness, F/M, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Personal Growth, Pining, Ray is a gossip, Reformed Friendship, Sort Of Resolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:58:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4703534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard ruined everything and there's nothing that can fix it. The only way to move past what happened is to move on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Apart In The Same Direction

**Author's Note:**

> So this was extremely hard to write.

Gerard and LynZ came out of nowhere. At first, they seemed simply casual, but suddenly they were married. It happened an hour ago, and Frank was nowhere to be found, even though they had an interview in half an hour.  
Ray had checked in half of the rooms at the venue, going down the corridor, when he opened the door to what seemed like a janitor's closet, flicking on the light.  
Frank was huddled in the corner, sniffling, quickly scrubbing his sleeve over his eyes when he noticed Ray.  
"Hey...," Ray murmured, closing the door behind him as he went to sit next to Frank, at loss for words. "You okay?"  
"Yeah," Frank sighed, and it sounded like his nose was stuffy, and there were tear tracks over his flushed cheeks.  
"What's wrong?" Ray pressed, feeling strangely guilty even though he didn't do anything.  
"Nothing," Frank lied, turning his face away and wrapping his arms tighter around his knees, hugging them to his chest harder.  
Ray wanted to ask, but he knew better than to get Frank upset all over again, so he remained silent. Frank's eyes were puffy and red, and his nose was pink.  
He decided to not bring up the fact that they were late for an interview, but he couldn't ignore when his phone rang. Frank looked up from where his fingers were picking at his scruffy sneakers. "You should probably answer that."  
"Yeah, okay," Ray nodded, pulling out his phone from his pocket, answering the call without looking. It was either Mikey, Gerard, or Bob. "Hey."  
"Where are you? Have you found Frank yet?" It was Gerard.  
"I'm...somewhere. Frank's with me, don't worry."  
"Okay. Does he know? I wanted to tell him, but he kind of just...disappeared," Gerard sighed, and Ray could practically hear him waving his hands around as he spoke.  
That was kind of when it clicked for Ray, why Frank was crying. "Um? I don't know, I'll ask. I gotta go, we'll be in time for the interview, don't worry. Bye," he said shortly, hanging up before Gerard could get a word in.  
"Did you... Is this because of the wedding?" Ray asked slowly, not quite looking at Frank this time. Frank inhaled sharply, and Ray knew he hit home.  
"It's...I'm fine, it doesn't matter," Frank blubbered dismissively, trying to keep from losing it again, but Ray could see his bottom lip quivering and his face crumpling out of the corner of his eye.  
"Did you...," Ray started, not knowing how to finish.  
"It wasn't just me. He did, too. Or I thought he did," Frank added bitterly. Ray was more than a little shocked at that, because how did he not see it all this time?  
"I had no idea. How could I not have noticed? We live on a _bus_ together," Ray muttered.  
"Everyone has secrets, and the closer we are to other people, the closer we keep them. Gerard sure had a bunch of secrets, and I had the _pleasure_ ," Frank sneered through wet eyes, "of being one of them."  
"Maybe he's just trying to make you jealous," Ray offered weakly, wanting to kind of punch Gerard in the face right now.  
"By getting married," Frank snorted, tone blank. He sighed and shook his head a little, wiping his nose on his sleeve.  
"I'm not really jealous, though. I'm just...hurt. And mad, I'm pretty fucking mad, but...," Frank trailed off, shrugging in attempt to get himself to calm down.  
"You're more hurt than mad? That sucks," Ray sighed, draping an arm over Frank's trembling shoulders.  
"This sucks," Frank nodded, leaning into Ray, sniffling.  
"We have an interview in the dressing room in ten minutes. D'you wanna just let it all out before then?" Ray suggested, not really knowing any other way to tell Frank that he should just cry it out and get over someone who's no good for him. Gerard was a jerk.  
"I'm sorry you have to deal with this," Frank said, tears already slipping down his face. He quickly wiped them away.  
"No problem. What are friends for?" Ray smiled, and Frank attempted a smile back, but then his lip trembled and he hid his face in his hands, shoulders shaking.  
Ray couldn't really imagine how much Frank was hurting right now, so all he could do was rub Frank's shoulder and hug him. He had helped his sister through breakups before, and he was just waiting for the anger to kick in.  
"It hurts," Frank sighed, sobs quieting down, and Ray's chest started aching at how broken Frank sounded. "I fucking hate him. Well, I want to. But I kinda love him at the same time, and...fuck. I can make myself hate him, right?" Frank turned wide eyes on Ray. "I'll just force myself to hate him. It'll hurt less."  
"I can punch him for you," Ray offered.  
"Nah. I could just...I dunno. This sucks. Don't we have to go to an interview?"  
"Fuck. We're late," Ray sighed, checking the time.

xxx

"I got a girlfriend," Frank giggled, waltzing into the room and crashing on the couch after smacking a sloppy kiss onto Bob's cheek.  
"Ew," Bob muttered, getting up and walking out of the studio.  
Ray looked up from his guitar and smiled, Mikey flashed a thumbs up, and Gerard scowled. The fucker.  
"Tell me about her, then!" Ray ordered, setting his guitar aside and grinning at Frank, who's entire face seemed to light up at the mention of her.  
"Her name's Jamia, she loves dogs, she has three adorable kids-"  
"Kids?" Gerard interjected sourly. "You think you can handle that?"  
Frank rolled his eyes. Mikey burrowed further into his armchair, trying to ignore the awkward tenseness between Frank and Gerard lately.  
"Yeah. I love them. And her. Oh my god, Ray, she names her clothes! She's just...," Frank sighed, waving a hand around with a blissful smile. "She's perfect, y'know?"  
"I'm happy for you," Ray said honestly, not exactly seeing the appeal of girls who name their clothes, but if it made Frank's eyes sparkle like that, who cares?  
"She names her clothes? That's a little weird," Gerard frowned, eyes narrowed.  
"So is flashing your panties on stage every night, but I'm not judging," Frank retorted cheerfully, and Gerard's jaw clenched.  
"LynZ doesn't just-"  
"Whatever. I know, I was making a point," Frank rolled his eyes.  
"Her favorite color is green. Her favorite band is Ramones. Her favorite Disney princess is Mulan. I swear, she is my fucking soul mate," Frank smiled into a couch cushion, and Ray could feel the almost grossly mushy in-love vibes radiating off of the guitarist.  
"Frank, that doesn't make sense. Your favorite color is blue, your favorite band is Black Flag, and your favorite disney princess is Pocahontas," Gerard reminded him, rolling his eyes.  
"No. My favorite color is green, my favorite band is Ramones, and my favorite disney princess is Mulan now," Frank said dreamily. Gerard rolled his eyes again and closed his sketchbook with a snap, standing up and storming out the room.  
Ray sighed and got up, following the singer into the hallway.  
"Dude, what is your problem? He's happy for once, let him be," Ray hissed to a sulking Gerard under his breath, not wanting anyone else to hear.  
"She's just... She doesn't sound like his type," Gerard muttered darkly.  
"So she's not you," Ray snorted, and Gerard's eyes widened.  
"What are you... What are you talking about?" he stuttered, arms crossed defensively.  
"Listen, if you're gonna be a diva about him moving on, why the fuck did you marry LynZ? You have a wife, stop being a jackass and let him be happy for once. You have _no right_ to be mad," Ray muttered darkly.  
Gerard swallowed and looked away, blinking fast.

xxx

"Frank is getting married," Gerard repeated blankly, squeezing the empty coffee cup in his hand.  
"Um. Yeah," Mikey bounced on his toes, smiling for once. His smile faltered when he saw how kicked puppy-esque Gerard looked. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing," Gerard squeaked, giggling fakely and sipping from his empty and crushed coffee cup.  
Mikey raised an eyebrow.  
"It's _nothing_ ," Gerard repeated, storming out of the room.

xxx

LynZ and Jamia were great, and Ray loved them, but something had to give. And for the sake of the band, he hoped it wouldn't be Frank or Gerard.

Gerard was still awkward and tense around Frank, but Frank seemed genuinely happy with Jamia. Ray would always catch himself feeling sorry for Gerard before he remembered that he was the one who got married in the first place.

"It was so stupid," Gerard blubbered into Ray's shoulder, and Ray wondered why he kept finding himself in this position.  
"We were just...me and Lyn were just casual, y'know? But then Frank and I had this huge fight and LynZ found out that she was pregnant and... I proposed. I don't even know. I like her a lot, she's great, but," Gerard's bottom lip quivered. "I'm still in love with Frank. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to just go out there and...," Gerard lapsed back into tears while Ray rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. 

He had to agree that it must suck for Gerard to be best man at Frank's wedding, but who else would it be? Way before they were together, they were best friends. Even if they didn't work out, they'd still be friends. Even if it sucked, they would.

xxx

The one who ended up breaking in the end was, obviously, Gerard.

"Ray," Gerard's panicked voice panted into Ray's ear through his phone. "I know it's late, but can you pick me up?"

"What?" Ray frowned, sitting up in bed and checking his alarm clock-3 AM- with a thudding heart. The last time he had heard Gerard sound like that was when he would relapse into drinking all those years ago. "Where are you?"

"I- I didn't take anything, I swear, but- that bar next to the McDonald's? I was going to drink, but- I just walked back out, I promise, and I couldn't tell Mikey, he doesn't know about any of this, and I can't tell Frank, and Bob's in Chicago, so there was no way I couldn't bother you, I'm so sorry-"

"Gerard, shut up, you're not bothering me," Ray hissed, already pulling on his shoes and grabbing up his keys. "I'll be right there."

xxx

Ray had to sit next to Gerard on the curb for an hour and listen to Gerard's panicked crying about how he never thought he'd feel like this again.

"I'm so fucking messed up, and I did this to myself and I'm so fucked up. I can't- Ray, Frank and I are both married now, we have kids, we can't just- Well, it doesn't fucking matter anyway, he doesn't want me like that anymore, I messed that up. Ray, I fucked up," Gerard sniffled, and Ray just quietly sat there and held his hand, because yeah, he did.

xxx

Frank inevitably found out, and he was furious and worried as fuck, but he agreed to not tell Mikey. This would fucking ruin Mikey.

"Gerard, why? I still don't get why-"

"I said it _doesn't fucking matter_ so shut the fuck up!" Gerard roared at him, and Frank visibly recoiled, looking hurt.

"Jesus, fine. What is up with you? I was just worried about you, sue me," he snapped, storming out of Ray's living room and slamming the door to the house behind him.

"He's probably gonna just go back to his wife and three kids and perfect life and forget about me. He's just- I can't ruin what he has just because I'm selfish," Gerard sighed, and Ray didn't know what to say. There really was no way to fix this.

xxx

"He has a wife and a kid, Ray, what are you talking about?" Frank snapped, arms crossed defensively when Ray tried to tell him what happened with Gerard.

"He... Frank, he's still in love with you," Ray repeated helplessly, and Frank fell silent. Ray had this horrible feeling the entire drive to Frank's house that Frank was truly over it and would just get mad at Gerard.

"Oh. I. I guess I should talk to him. Ray, I don't really know what to do, I can't just...," Frank sighed, wringing his hands, and Ray was secretly relieved that Frank was being so understanding.

"Just talk to him."

xxx

Ray expected it to be awkward after they talked, but it seemed better, actually. Gerard seemed genuinely okay, and they were acting fine around each other.

"What happened?" Ray asked Frank the second he managed to get him cornered outside the practice room, and Frank shrugged.

"I just told him the truth. It can't happen, and I'm not gonna try and pretend that it might to make him feel better, but he's still my best friend and we'll figure something out together," Frank explained, and Ray smiled.

"Okay. Good."

xxx

Gerard eventually talked to LynZ about divorce, and Ray was pretty sure he saw a shit load of bruises on Gerard's arms when his sleeves lifted up a little the day after, but they both agreed that it was for the best and that they would still both be in Bandit's life and moved on.

Gerard seemed happier now, even with the knowledge that Frank was never going to leave Jamia. Ray was happy for him.

xxx

When Mikey found out about everything that had happened, he yelled. A lot. It was strange, because it was _Mikey,_ and they all felt horrible about it. It had been a couple weeks and he still wasn't talking to any of them, especially not Gerard. And he was barely participating at practices, he'd just play his parts and glare.

"He'll get over it, don't worry," Frank and Ray assured a guilty Gerard.

"What if he doesn't? He's never gonna talk to me or trust me again, guys, he hates me," Gerard fretted, and Frank rolled his eyes.

"He doesn't hate you, it'll be okay, he just needs a little time. Trust me, okay?" he said, resting a hand on Gerard's arm soothingly. Gerard bit his lip and nodded.

"I trust you." _I love you._ They could all hear it, but it didn't matter right now.

xxx

Mikey eventually got over it and it all went back to normal before tour started. This definitely had to be the most fun they've ever had on tour before, for sure.

Ray really liked the change of sound and atmosphere, how they switched anger for hope, black for the rainbow, pyro for strobe lights.

Gerard is the happiest he's ever been, they all are. It's great. This show right now, though, is amazing, Ray can feel the electricity in the air, and everyone is wound up so tight and ready to burst, and they aren't even halfway through the show yet. The energy is rising, filling up the room like a bubble pushing outwards, like someone's finger slipped on the energy slider on some sound board of life and it's getting louder and louder, and Ray is playing his heart out.

The lights are flashing and Frank is throwing himself across the stage, Gerard is molesting the mic stand with extra fervor, and Mikey is actually _dancing._

The second the final chord rings out into the cheering crowd and gets lost in the sound and excitement and the curtains fall, all the energy explodes everywhere.

The strobe lights are still flashing and Ray can't stop grinning, and he walks off the stage after Mikey, bouncing on the balls of his feet. His heart is thumping in his ears and he wants to dance. He glances over his shoulder to grin maniacally at Frank, who's usually there. But isn't for some reason. 

Confused, he glances out at the rest of the stage, and sees Frank and Gerard pressed up against each other under the strobe lights, dancing with each other to the bass-heavy music that the sound guy put on as the kids were leaving.

Ray kind of thinks they look really happy and really _free,_ just sort of jumping around and bumping into each other and laughing into each others' shoulders and he thinks that they're both really in love.

They must've thought so too, because someone pulled the other one in and they were suddenly kissing, wrapped around each other and passionate before it's over in a second, just a couple pulses of the strobe lights, and there are colors splashed over their grinning faces and it's all so unreal and Ray is mindlessly happy.

xxx

No one mentions the kiss after it happened, but it isn't awkward or anything either.

Ray is kind of dying to ask one of them, but he manages to keep it in. Well, for a while.

"So, that kiss," he says conversationally to Gerard once he manages to get him alone.

"What?" Gerard looks confused for a second before he blushes. "Oh. That."

"Well? What the fuck was that?" Ray prompted, distantly wondering when he became such a gossip, but then ignoring it. He needs answers now or he might die.

"It wasn't... I dunno. It was more like closure, I guess. It wasn't like something else was gonna happen after, it was more like, this is it. It's like, I guess we still have feelings, but nothing can happen, and that's okay. Really, it's okay," Gerard assured him, and Ray nodded slowly.

"But you're happy now, right? You're cool?" Ray asked, worriedly.

"Yeah, we're fine," Gerard smiled down at his hands. "Everyone's happy."


End file.
